Let's welcome....

JEN!!! hurray! from today onwards we shall be sharing a blog!! though she says she'll hardly post anything but oh well it is a good start =) shall change the link but we would have to think of something suitable first =) dont worry, wont be so long anymore.. i'm a happy child!

Faith

ever wondered what faith truly was? when i read this book called TAMING THE TIGER, i came upon the author's point of view on faith. it goes something like this:

"no one thinks twice about whether there is oxygen in each breath taken nor whether there will be enough for the next breath and the breath after that. we just breath. similarly, the last time you sat on a chair, you didnt pick it up and examine it to check whether it would break under your weight or hold you. you just sat. once there was a boy flying his kite it was a foggy day and his grandfather came up and said to him, "what are you doing?" the boy replied, "i'm flying my kite." the grandfather teased him, "i see no kite up there." the boy looked up and he coudn't see it either. he thought for a while, the he said to his gradfather, "but i know it's there. i can feel the tug on the string.""

this authour once told his friend, "if you have faith in Jesus, you will feel his tug on your heart."

i think it is oh-so-true!

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on the lighter side of things.. wheeeee! it's chinese new year!! hurray!
i love:
*actually getting money without working (i wonder if that's a good thing, hmm...)
*watching silly nonsense chinese kungfu shows where good always triumphs over evil
*buying new clothes.. no wait, getting your parents to buy you new clothes hehehe
*wearing new clothes!
*gorging out on mandrin oranges, chinese new year cookies, and yee sang! (though i dont really like yee sang much)
*one whole week of holiday!
*no school, no stress!
*delicious reunion dinners, yummy!

then again the result of cny is just as bad:
*growing sideways due to all the food intake
*less exercise
*sleepless nights (stupid firecrakers)
*homework piling up
*exams after hols
*lots of washing up to do after dinner
*sweltering under the hot sun!
*dying of boredom

yeaps that just sums it all =) btw, it doesnt make me hate cny.. in fact i love this time the year.. though it's just soooooo red!


hahaha guess what? was looking for a suitable picture and i found this! guess Barbie's chinese too!


jen and i at our iu day last year.. the theme was east oriental so we all dressed up in cheongsams =)


the one with the long hair is yean ling (ah ling) and the other one is me (obviously) i wish my hair was as long as hers..


my banner! i'm so proud of it and all those who helped me.. up to this day i am still grateful to you guys!


and although this has nothing to do with cny i just love it.. dont you? i mean snow in hot humid sunny february is TEMPTING!

thanks guys

hey guys thanks so much for caring.. i'll be fine.. one whole day of emo-ing is enough for me =) ahahaha so anyways photos from the wedding coming to your screen right now!


smelling fake flowers =)


an-no-la!


mimicking chu yueh's sepet eyes ahahahaha


joy, belle chu yueh and i =)


sarah!

ups and down down down downs..

been so busy this week! had judah's wedding deco to help out with (which was mega fun to do)!! the wedding was superb and oh-so-sweet!! i feel so so happy for them.. yet i'm not enjoying myself thoroughly, having high ups and low downs (basically mood swings)..


you know when you wanna tell someone that hey i care whether you're feeling down, angry, upset or even happy but you just dont know how to put it in words and in addition to that, that person is someone you're not close with..(no i do not mean that it's necessarily a guy) how do you do it? and sometimes you're just so tired of trying to look happy in front of ppl just to make them happy? or when you know that a once close friend of yours is just not interested in being friends with you anymore? or when ppl judge you before they even know you or when they talk [in a bad way =( ] about you to your close friend and being so "tak puas" with you when there's a change in you? or how about losing something terribly important and the teacher is so not happy with you and she shows it? how about letting your friends down because you know what you're doing is right but they dont like it? or on the verge of crying but trying not to be weak in front of your friends? what about feeling like you're UTTERLY (and i mean utterly) useless? what if all these things are making you dread school so much that you hate it, literally?

i have completely lost any self-esteem i ever had.

sometimes i wonder, isnt there anyone who feels like i do? is there anyone who feels like their friends are ignoring them in a super mega obvious way? yet i know i cant feel sorry for myself because God has given me GOOD friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin. not only that but a loving family. and so many blessings? how can i complain?

have you ever wanted to care for those whom you hardly close with? i know i have and still do.. some ppl i know are so stressed and i really feel sorry for them.. i know it's not sympathy they want but rather support..

sorry, i'm just suddenly feeling really emo..

i dont understand why ppl can say you've changed (usually when they say it, it's in a bad way) but they themselves have changed? why is it when i resolve to serve God they are dissatisfied? why do I have to live up to THEIR ways? who am i to them anyway? makes me wonder whether if i had changed into the person they wanted me to be, would things be any different?

if everyday a person told me i made someone smile just by smiling myself, i'd smile till i lay my head on my pillow..

jeremy and micheese, i'm so sorry i had you guys worried about me.. i love you both so much! appreciate everything you've done for me!

belle, clare, christian, john, james and joy you guys rock! i wish i had more time to do more fun stuff with you guys! i love your house and most of all i love you guys! i dont how i'm gonna survive without seeing you every sunday.

O God, sigh, i need You to rescue me now! Lord change this attitude of mine from the inside out!

a true story.. you wont wanna miss it!

once upon a friday, this 17 year old child had a dental checkup in school and so had all the other students in her class. she was slightly nervous coz she had a feeling that dentist might just get "lucky" and find something. she heard the dentist say to his assistant, "enam atau tujuh" she thought oh ok it might just be a rating from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest. six or seven wasnt that bad she thought. little did she know she wasnt as fortunate as she assumed to be. the assistant stopped her at the doorway and at the same time her heart felt like it had stopped with her. then she said the dreadful four letter word... "HOLE" well she didnt exactly say that but it was in her sentence. looks like it's a trip to the dentist for me sigh the girl.

on the way home in her mum's car, she decided to let her mummy dearest know. so the day of the appointment with the dentist was decided there and then... thinking the problem was solved, this naive child had a blast at her youth conference that day and the day after. she had so much fun that even on sunday the thought of her holey tooth or her appointment didnt cross her mind even once.

the rising sun marked the beginning of Monday... then it struck her... her tooth! oh well her mind told her... how bad could it get? laughing and joking around with her schoolmates, she hardly felt the anxiousness she had expected to feel.. till she reached her home. the seriousness of the appointment finally dawned on her. her mum being supportive and all assured her that there was nothing to be afraid of...

the dentist examined her teeth, unfortunately for her, with disappointed remarks. gone were those six or seven ratings.. they turned out to be the number of holes! imagine that! seven holes! this is the end she thought. this is the end for me! the dentist tried to calmed her down by saying that it could be fixed... then the sentence she hated the most in the whole wide world came out of his mouth.. "we might need to give her a jab here.." clamping her mouth in an instant she refused profusely.. sadly for her it was the only way to numb the pain she would feel during the drilling. reluctantly she agreed.

oh how i hate needles! however the pain of the injection wasnt too bad... the worst was yet to come.. now that the jab was done, it's down to serious business... the drilling... gosh! she thought this is bad! i'll never ever want to go to a dentist again! the eerie sound of the instrument doing its duty, the horrible smell of basically everything in the room, the numbness of the whole of her left side of her face and worse of all the choking on her saliva and whatever solution they use in the drilling was so overwhelming that she felt the need to cry out to the Big G who without a doubt she knew was watching the whole process.

it took the dentist one and a half hours to finish the filling of four holes.. by that time the poor girl's jaw was too sore that she couldnt even yawn without wincing in pain.. wiping her mouth with tissue, her mum and her were escorted out of the room.. biting on her tissue trying to feel her teeth grinding together to get rid of the numbness which engulfed the whole left half of her face, she looked down at it. to her horror she saw a blot of blood on the tissue... this is too much for me she thought. dont tell me now my teeth is bleeding?! oh goodness this enough to give me a heart attack.. well she didnt exactly thought it that was but she was freaked out at the sight of it. "dont worry la! it's just a small cut on your lip.. haiyoh like that also panic!" her mum said to her... "sorry lor!" she replied..

"so what day will it be?" the receptionist enquired. "oh next monday pls." so it was set.. her next torture session would be one week away.. hanging her head low as she stepped out of the clinic, she vowed that she would give her teeth the best care no one else in the universe could ever give. never again she said as she shook her head, never again will i step into that place after next monday. although it's entirely impossible for that to happen, she just had to console herself.

yes that silly, oh-so-bimbo (if you wanna put it that way), naive and utterly delicate girl is me =( i hate to admit it but all these happened just three hours ago. wahh!! i dont think i wanna eat dinner tonight.. sorry mummy but i have to for go your cooking today however nice/delicious it may be.. sigh.. go ahead laugh at me if you want to...

great even my left ear is numb... boy oh boy never again man!!! oh well... i think i typed too much details of this humiliating event already.. one day i'm gonna look back and shake my head in disdain..

Betrayal (fiction)

"NO! NO! I beg you, don't go! Don't leave me!"
Sobbing so hard as though her heart might break she clutched his shirt refusing to let go.
"You can't leave me here! I beg you, take me home!"
Her screams got louder and louder.
He wrenched his shirt out of her grip.
Turning his back to her he walked away.
Picking herself up she ran after him trying to get a hold of his shirt again.
This time she gripped it so tight her knuckles turned deathly white.
Strong hands restrained her, pulling her towards that door from which she knew she would never step out from again if ever she were to give up.
Desperation filling her soul, fear of what might be clouding her mind, she let out a glass-shattering screech.
Her hand grew limp and her captors took the advantage of freeing the man from her clutches.
Dusting his shoulder in an act of disgust as if she were filth to him, he walked away.
Another high-pitched wail broke through the silent night.
Still, he walked on, slackening not in his pace, as if her cry of agony had not reached his ears.
With tears falling down from her cheeks to the wet ground, she watched the silhouette of the man she once loved disappear into the dim-lit street.
Wincing as her captors dragged her by her hair into the place of where her dark future awaited her, she cursed him, whom she had given her heart to.
He who had broken her trust in the worst possible way.
He who had betrayed her.
The joy and love that was once dwelling in her vanquished and a certain bitterness crept in.
For years she worked at that place, never knowing what freedom was like.
Night by night she lay beside a stranger, her body violated.
Till the day when her smooth skin wrinkle and her beauty fade, she lived in humiliation, her body, in service of fulfilling men's sinful lust.