starting anew to start anew (title contributed by jian shen)

is it alright to be irritated at what one might deem as something small? sigh, because i really am irritated right now.. i told myself, Just ignore it.. guess it's funny when it's not you huh? and you dont exactly have the right to tell that person off because sometimes, lets admit it, we do some things for humour at the expense of others.. i'll let this experience remind me to be more mindful of others the next time i think of doing something funny at the someone else's expense..

on another note, i realise i shouldnt say 'crap' anymore so i'm not going to.. if you ever hear that word escape my lips, please pinch me =)


so what have i been up to now that exams are over? well, i've been back at uni practicing for a dance we're gonna perform for orientation.. it's been the most tiring days these past few days.. and man, do my muscles ache! oooh! but it was so gratifying =D we manage to finish getting the choreography all on our own within two days and today, we were able to sync all the girls so that was pretty awesome =) i think we're getting there =) i have faith in my groupmates and we make a good group.. hahahha you should hear the amount of laughter that comes from the dance room when we get together =) OH OH!!! and i must tell you.. i managed to do a handstand!! hahahha well for like a second BUT STILL!!! it was the awesomest thing ever!!! you're probably wondering why i need to do a handstand.. so, becuase i'm too lazy to post up the vid of the dance we're doing, i'll give you this link =)

OH OH OH!!! and i recently joined cheerleading (dont judge me!) and i manage to 'fly'!!! hahahah in other  words i became the flyer =D hahahha it was the most nerve-wrecking, heart-stopping, on-top-of-the-world feeling ever! period. hahahahah and jess and mun teng managed to 'fly' too!! it's so great to be able to share such an experience with them =) aaahh..

this is the 'elavator'. we did this one =)

laughter!

wow.. reading everyone's blog with their inspiring posts makes me feel like i'm just rambling empty words on mine..

anyways, finals are in two weeks.. decided to take a break from the mundane studying..

i've just been thinking to myself that i'm so blessed to have found GREAT friends from church and outside of it.. 

honestly there have been some occasions where i feel pressured to come up with something REALLY funny because i want to see the people around me laugh and laugh with them.. [hahahah unfortunately, i'm not that good at coming up with something REALLY funny.. these days i like to just listen to people talk and observe them =)] but in uni, hahaha we laugh at things that aren't funny, things not said or things not shown.. sometimes we laugh at each other and ourselves.. we even laugh when some of us dont find it funny at all.. just seeing how the other person laughs is enough to trigger our giggles.. hahaha i love it that we laugh over the smallest thing just because we're all easily amused =) yes, it's true.. i am a laughing mess when i'm at uni.. heee =D

and it's not to say that i dont enjoy myself when i'm out of my circle of uni mates.. i do =D it's so interesting that i experience a variety of emotions when i'm with different groups of people. and i like it!

so Jess, Mun Teng, Li Chin, Cheryl, Wai Sum and Kar Wei, this is for you guys, for all the laughter shared! i hope we'll still be able to laugh like that when we've reached our higher semesters =) i love you guys!

my friend Tom =)

oh my gosh! CHEERIOS is SOOOoooooo addictive.. i can grow fat on CHEERIOS! =D

thanks Sum for giving me a pack =)

i have interesting friends.. the whole lunch time at the cafeteria in uni, Tom was trying to irritate me about my failing the driving test -.- hahaha he'd start off by asking when my next test is.. then he took out HIS driver's license to BRAG show me.. and he happily announced that his P license expires on friday -.- hahaha yeap! that's Tom for you.. HAHAHAHA you know what? once when he was introducing himself to medic juniors he came across my friend called john, and he met his match!!! here's how it went..

tom (t) : hi juniors! *waves*
-juniors look up at him and wave back-
-john looks up, takes out the IMU pen (it looks like a syringe) puts on a punk face-
john (j) : do you want me to jab your butt with this?
-in cheryl's words, EPICCCC!!!!- HAHAHAHAHAH!
(he actually used a more crude word which i wont use)

and that's not all!! so Tom slightly taken aback and a little apprehensive but feeling forgiving, introduces himself..

t : my name is Tom *smile*
-the juniors politely introduce themselves in return-
-then came john's turn-
t : hi, my name's Tom
j : oh really!? where's Jerry?
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HILARIOUS man! when Tom told me this, i had to grit my teeth hard from bursting into laughter because we were in the library.. the funny thing is, he's actual name is Shin Tom.. so he could've avoided all that if he had just used Shin Tom instead of Tom. needless to say, Tom was really offended.. john got ragged in return.

i guess reading it and not actually seeing the expression on his face makes it less funny. but if you know him enough.. it was like the joker got served yo! hahahahah i'll post up a picture just so you can put a face to the name..

he actually wore he's prefect's uniform to uni because he'd pakat with his friends to do so.. and guess what? none of them wore theirs!!! AHAHAHAHA!wish i had more pictures of his less composed expressions to show you.. sadly, this is my only one..

ok gotta get back to more resaerching -.- going online has never been so mundane.. zzzz

i scored an A (WOOHOOOOO!!!)

PRAISE GOD FOR MY A IN FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING CLASS TEST 1!!!

aahhh.. happiness =) my first A in IMU

now i'm just waiting for my results for food culture and lifespan nutrition class tests.. they hold quite a huge percentage of my GPA.. 20% if i'm not mistaken.. hahhaha and it's only class test 1! gonna sit for class test 2 next week and the week after.. trying my best to stay cool and not stress out..

CHEERIOS has arrived on Malaysian shores ppl!! awesome-ness heee!

sleepy and running on a high right now.. gotta get back to the books.. toodles!

quick update

i'm reading John Piper's 'When I dont desire God : How to fight for Joy'. it's a really interesting book! Rose lent it to me like three months ago, but i've only really started reading it now.. i've barely gotten pass the first chapter because there's just so much to think about in the book.. here are some parts that really hit home :

"When I saw the truth that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him, I was free from the unbiblical bondage of fear that it was wrong to pursue joy."

"Only God can make the depraved heart desire God. Once when Jesus' disciples wondered about the salvation of a man who desired money more than God, he said to them, "With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God" (Mark 10:27)"

and so far the phrase that really hit me is the bolded text..

"I would like to help those who are beginning to see that salvation is the awakening of a new taste for God, or it is nothing."

wow.. i dont even want to elaborate on this because i think that the meaning of salvation is a personal belief unique to each individual.. for me, this is means so much =)

yeap so i think it'll take some time for me to finish this book.. but man, what a book for the season i'm in.. so apt..

ok now it's back to doing some more research for PBL.. i'll try to update more frequently now =)

much love!

driving test today was...

A DISASTER!

'nuff said, going again at the end of april =(

half of me feels lousy because i know i could've nailed it.. sigh.. i'm going to be depressed about this only till midnight.. if i dont get over it by then, please slap me..

just to cheer myself up =D this pic is hilarious!

finally! and update =)

i'm gonna shift blog soon.. sigh i know i've been really bad at updating.. which is why i need to share a blog with ppl.. which brings me to mun teng and li chin! =) so we might just start a new blog together.. MAYBE.. if we're not too bogged down with uni work..

YES! uni work is the reason for my absence.. on the other hand, junita's wedding deco is bugging me like crazy.. i'm gonna go all out after EOS exams which ends on nov 20th.. that leaves me with like 12 days of prep.. i THINK i can make it.. no, i BELIEVE i can make it! i just need help.. hahaha..

so yeah! i'm so praying that God will give me His strength to go through this hurdle.. after this, no more wedding deco projects! it's not like i dislike doing it, it's just really stressful and i felt like i may have jumped right into it instead of building my confidence through smaller projects.. i feel very unassured of my ablities actually..

speaking of being unassured of my abilities, i dont know what i wanna do in the future anymore.. at first i thought, oh maybe i'll get my nutrition and dietitics degree that parents want then venture out into interior design after.. but even though it's just been one semester in this course, i really am starting to fall in love with nutrition and dietitics. it could be because of the people in my course.. maybe, but the prospect of helping the sick really strikes a chord in my heart.. these are people who are really in need, and if i can somehow help them, i WANT to! i feel that this is where i can make a difference, or at least impact the people i meet..

and not to say that i'll be neglecting my passion for arts and crafts, but maybe that's just it! maybe i what i love isn't interior design but really arts and crafts.. creating things that make people smile and laugh, that they can use.. i wonder how i mixed these two things up.. and no wonder i felt little joy in doing junita's wedding deco.. it's not that i dont want to do it, it just felt like it was sucking the life out of me rather than me putting life to my designs.. but i know i cant and wont regret taking up junita's wedding because the things i've learnt made me grow up..

rach, i made this is for you..

because i know you love pink.. come get it from me on sunday =)
on a another note, congrats to you guys on getting into Warwick! shall miss you both and the rest who weren't in the pic. wish i had more time with you all.. ALL THE BEST, GUYS!

Aren't we better off?

i watch a video during English class today.. it's called The Curse of the Child Actor... anyways i felt really disturbed or rather just sad that they died like that, suicide, overdose especially.. taking their own lives, most of them.. the pressure and stress they had to go through must have been enormous.. and i feel so helpless.. all i do is complain about what irks me.. i guess i really need to start looking at what's been going on in the whole world..

so i've come to the conclusion that i will no complain! if you catch me doing it, please remind me of this post..

*applause*

My FIRST tiramisu and kiwi cheesecake turned out GREAT!!

i'm so glad! no pictures though.. oh well, since it turned out so well i MIGHT just bake them again =D

i still love volleyball even though...

we lost the match yesterday.. SIGH we were really really REALLY close! the score was 23-25, 25-8 (somewhere around 8 i think) and 7-15... took me about 24 hours to get over it hahahaha i'm such a sore loser huh? well i cant help it.. i mean we really practised our hardest whenever we could.. it's frustrating! but there's always next year, so we'll train and practise even more and by next year, we'll be ready to kick some butt!

it's been too long..

right yes.. i've been guilty of neglecting my blog AGAIN! sigh, this really should not continue.. i will try harder to update this rather than my facebook!

i'm such a careless person. i've lost my 8Gb thumbdrive!! rarh!!! this is the second one in less than a month.. dont want to say more... uhh, the heartache!

anyways, i've been busying myself with volleyball practice and uni.. then i realized i have not baked in quite a while.. i mean i haven't even used the icing belle gave me in march! gah! what a no-life-er i am.. so i decided since sin ying will be starting her clinical practice in seremban and i owe randy a birthday cake, i might as well pick up those baking books and put on my apron again!

i was so torn between what to bake because i didn't want to just bake the same old things again.. and after all, it gets quite boring.. i tossed and turned ideas in my head and finally came to a conclusion that i will ATTEMPT to bake tiramisu and peach cheesecake! these cakes are pretty tough to bake so i've been searching online for recipes that work (though i'll never know if they work till i try them!)..

Dare to Move camp was great! met new people and made new friends =D and for the very first time in my life, my games group won! yeah! but kat's departure really saddened me.. i miss her soo sooo much..


on another note, han sean's leaving on friday =( i'm very sad.. i'll really miss him with his crazy randomness and spontaniety.. sigh, it's really tough when your peers start leaving the country to further their studies and you're left behind, constantly reminding yourself that different people have different purposes in life, and that staying behind in Malaysia DOES NOT make you a loser. it's not like a feel like a total loser but, you know, it's usually the smart brainiacs that are extemely capable that get to go overseas for their tiertiary education. i just need to get over myself and believe WHOLE-HEARTEDLY that God has THE perfect plan for my life. anyways these are some pictures we took with han sean on sunday at his farewell lunch, rest are one facebook =D


oh and to put the faces to the names of my uni friends, here's one picture just for you
L2R : li chin, lee cheng, mun teng (see you girls at volleyball practice =D)

sigh.. bliss =)

i know i said i'd blog about a book.. but that can wait.. today i just feel really happy! =) yeap! today, i...

• had my first driving lesson
• ate an absolutely scrumptious blueberry cheese tart.. Yumm!
• had a great laughing session with uni friends
  
• experienced mun teng's driving for the first time (there were lots and lots of screaming in the car hahahaha!)
  
• had a wonderful time with julie and annola over dinner
• ate grandma's signature dish, the "lobak" :)
  

so yeah, i'm really really happy! especially when i managed to eat the cheese tart! every bite was delicious! REALLY WAN!! ahahaha

anyways i realized one thing, and that is, i really like being in IMU! i mean the workload is crazy and independent study is key to getting your grades, BUT!!!! the company is great and i really have so much to be thankful for.. of course not all my teachers are top notch, BUT!!!! IMU really provides a conducive environment to facilitate our learning.. i love this part of the library, my friends and i like to call, the "GLASSROOM". best of all, the people there are really nice! i've made friends with people who are beautiful inside and out =) there's no battle going on for the most popular clique or anything, no badmouthing of anyone and everyone here is sort of equal you know.. that kinda thing.. everyone's basically looking to create some really good memories and build friendships that will last.. at least that's the impression that i get =D and i love cf! it's such a fun place to be! reminds me of high school when i was in the cf committee and everyone's family.. all of these were alien to me in HELP and now i'm just glad that i feel welcomed in IMU..

so i just wanna say, THANK YOU GOD for placing me in IMU and for letting me meet every single person i've shook handsand laughed with, and those that i've waved at and smile to =)

I AM THANKFUL!

second comeback

sorry for my long absence.. dont have much time for a complete update but in a nutshell, i've:

PASSED MY UNDANG TEST!
and
STARTED UNI!

so yeah the next post will be on an amazing book i read, that i strongly recommend to all of you! it's a really good eye-opener! so stay tuned for that hehehehe

on a mental note, i've just been thinking. just because you know that a certain action is the right thing to do, doesn't make doing the right thing any easier, does it? hmm.. dont you agree?

i'm back =D

right, back from a mega long break of preparing and sitting for exams. still am actually. last paper on thursday and then PRAISE GOD, NO MORE A LEVELS!

ok so anyways i just HAD to blog about this. i was in my mum's office this evening. decided to lock up for her after since exams only start at 6.00 pm

so it was 5.40pm i thought it's best i be there early since my college is just two to three buildings away from my mum's office. i mean i do that all the time! nothing weird's EVER going to happen, right? WRONG!! boy was i SO SO wrong! in fact if anything, this is the most craziest thing to have happen in that place, to me!

walked out of the building and i heard and saw four shots fired! not funny! so i rushed back into the building. luckily my mum called to check on me. i freaked out on her! hahaha so yeah went to ask the security guard what's up (literally guys, hahahha for once there's actually a real 'what's up' answer!). so he said those shots fired were tear gas ones. apparently there was a demonstration like right in the middle of the road! the guard told me it wasn't safe to go out one the streets at all! yikes!

very very nervous and anxious by now. you have no idea what kinda torture my imagination put me through! so i was really worried that i might not be able to cross over to my college at all and take my exam (REALLY WORRIED! i DO NOT want to stay another sem!). but then after a few minutes, the guard told me if i crossed the road and take another path, i should be safe.

so with my heart literally jumping out of my chest, i walked out of the building to cross the road. it was chaotic out there! people running and policemen with the big plastic shields chassing after them. and the tear gas! or whatever gas it was, was BAD! really BAD!

the rest was uneventful. i reach the examination hall in time but later than everyone. i took me quite some time to calm down and stop my hands from shaking. the gas was more pungent nearer college, so i choke on quite alot of it.. ugh! needless to say, the exam didnt go very well for me. i couldnt think straight and yaadaa yaadaa yaadaa.. quite upset with myself.

sigh today's not a good day for me.

but i will share with you what i've been up to lately, just to cheer ME up hahahhaha
"who says you cant draw?" and inspirational motivation not to give up on drawing hahahha! not like it's a masterpiece or anything, it jsut makes me smile hahahah
made these for pastor judy for her birthday.. but i wish i could've design a nicer one though.. not satistfied.randomly made this for myself. it's a ring! but after seeing nielle at Saturday service, i just felt like she deserved it ahahhaha! so i gave it to her!and anklet for someone special hahah! her birthday's coming up soon! =D

yeap exams create more pressure that releases my creative juices.. something like a pressure cooker! ok i feel like i'm on the boderline of cracking a lame joke. better keep it to myself hahahha!

wishing jamie HAPPY BIRTHDAY..

ok.. i'm only updating because Jamie told me to..

hahaha ok so there was this embarrassing moment that happened to me on sunday

jer: hey do you know it's jamie's birthday today?
me: huh? really? oooh! i should call her
picks up phone, scrolls through phonebook.. found "Jamie Loke (HELP)".. pressed CALL
tooot tooot... tooot tooot...
jamie: hello
me:*thoughtlessly rushed into the conversation* hey jamie.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! sorry i didn't know earlier.. jer just told me.. what do you want for your birthday? i'll get it for you
jamie: err.. my birthday was a while ago..
me: what?! cis! jer got it wrong *glares at jer*
jamie: err.. hehehe
me: anywys nvm.. what do you want for your birthday?
jamie: aah no need la
me: no no must.. you bought me two.. no three earrings.. i want to get you something.. can i surprise you?
jamie: err ok..
me: hey are you ok? you dont sound.... jamie..
jamie: i'm fine i'm fine
me: ok.. *silence* well see you then.. byeee!!
jamie: bye!

sounds like a typical conversation right? except that if you really knew who jamie was.. you'd know something's up..

so i turn to glare at jer.
me: jer! she said her birthdsy was a while ago la!
jer: *narrows eyes at me* it's IS today!
me: but then she said..
jer: *narrows eyes even more.. gulp!(me)* did you call the right jamie?
..........................................
me: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

yeah so to cut the long story short.. yes i did call the wrong jamie *frowns* sigh turns out the jamie i wanted to call was in me sim card phonebook.. and the other jamie was in my phone phonebook (btw i do know these two jamie, just that i know one better than the other.. you can guess who).. so my phone only displayed the phone contacts and not the sim card ones.. still figuring out how come they are both under the same name.. so anyways i had to clear things up with the wrong jamie and call he right one.. sigh i really feel so foolish..

i've got..

ugh! backache! hahahah beading is so addictive WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY!!! yeap! i'm so happy coz i'm done with one present and half way through the other.. only thing is i forgot to sit up straight =.= so i've been sitting cross legged on the bed, BENT over my work for pretty much 2 hours plus? ouch!

knock knock
coming..
KNOCK KNOCK!
COMING!
sheesh, some ppl are just so impatient *wrinkles nose*

got dizzy when i got up to answer the door.. oh mum's home, got to take my laptop up..

oh what's that? a laptop? ahahaha yeap! i've got my bro's hand-me-down laptop.. i'm soo not complaining! i'm having too much fun with it.. i get to skype with belle, and sent emails to nicole anytime possible =)

rarh! i'm missing charity.. all the best in australia babe.. glad i got to spend at least a day with you before you left =) love you!

will post up pics soon!

forgiveness

i still dont get it.. forgiveness is such a difficult thing to do.. i mean if you forgive someone it means you're releasing your right to do unto that person what he or she did to you.. it means having to give up that right not after you've given that person a piece of your mind or a good telling off in hopes of convicting or correcting that person, you gotta give it up before you do those things, and then not do it or have someone else do it later but just leave it as it is.. it's like being a martyr.. wow!

'Forgiveness is not something we do for OTHER PEOPLE. We do it for OURSELVES-to GET WELL and to MOVE ON.' something i found off the internet.. i think it's really something to ponder.. i mean unforgiveness hurts us... destroys our soul and hardens our hearts.. so by forgiving, we're protecting and nourishing our heart.. yeah it's painful and so difficult, but think of what it does to your soul.. so yeah just something that popped up while i was reading something..

same ol', same ol'

so today belle and i were skyping and this happens..

belle[b] : hey i've got something to tell you...
.... i forgot... ahahahah!
me [l] : owh... ok! hahaha

few minutes later...

[l] : remember i wanted to tell you something the last time we skyped?
.... well, er.. i kinda forgot hehehe
[b] : what? you didn't write it down?!
... wait, it was you, right, that i told to write down?
[l] : yeah.. hehhehehe oops!


hahhahahha some things just dont change! i love you babe!

it seems...

i've been different.. gosh the past sunday in church has been unreal.. unnatural for me.. i'd never expect to feel so.. weird? didn't know a few absent weeks would make me (for lack of a better word) weird.. it's surprisingly saddening and confusing how i'd just stop feeling comfortable with everyone.. like today for example, i felt crazy, nervous and absurdly anxious about sitting for my practical exam.. it was odd since i've not felt anything like it in ages.. first thing i thought of was calling some friends.. looked through my phonebook, and settled with... not calling anyone.. sigh, all of a sudden, it's not the thought of feeling better once i'd hear the other person's voice over the phone, it was more of, what if i was wrong.. wrong about calling you.. wrong about how our friendship was secure enough for me to bother you during lunchtime (an important time of the day).. wrong about me..

dont laugh at my fears.. they're all true..

doesn't help when you're missing that one person who understands you through and through but stays all the way in America..

i've completely lost it.. all i know for sure is that i terribly miss everyone to the point it hurts.. and... i have no idea what to do about it..