you know when you wanna tell someone that hey i care whether you're feeling down, angry, upset or even happy but you just dont know how to put it in words and in addition to that, that person is someone you're not close with..(no i do not mean that it's necessarily a guy) how do you do it? and sometimes you're just so tired of trying to look happy in front of ppl just to make them happy? or when you know that a once close friend of yours is just not interested in being friends with you anymore? or when ppl judge you before they even know you or when they talk [in a bad way =( ] about you to your close friend and being so "tak puas" with you when there's a change in you? or how about losing something terribly important and the teacher is so not happy with you and she shows it? how about letting your friends down because you know what you're doing is right but they dont like it? or on the verge of crying but trying not to be weak in front of your friends? what about feeling like you're UTTERLY (and i mean utterly) useless? what if all these things are making you dread school so much that you hate it, literally?
i have completely lost any self-esteem i ever had.
sometimes i wonder, isnt there anyone who feels like i do? is there anyone who feels like their friends are ignoring them in a super mega obvious way? yet i know i cant feel sorry for myself because God has given me GOOD friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin. not only that but a loving family. and so many blessings? how can i complain?
have you ever wanted to care for those whom you hardly close with? i know i have and still do.. some ppl i know are so stressed and i really feel sorry for them.. i know it's not sympathy they want but rather support..
sorry, i'm just suddenly feeling really emo..
i dont understand why ppl can say you've changed (usually when they say it, it's in a bad way) but they themselves have changed? why is it when i resolve to serve God they are dissatisfied? why do I have to live up to THEIR ways? who am i to them anyway? makes me wonder whether if i had changed into the person they wanted me to be, would things be any different?
if everyday a person told me i made someone smile just by smiling myself, i'd smile till i lay my head on my pillow..
jeremy and micheese, i'm so sorry i had you guys worried about me.. i love you both so much! appreciate everything you've done for me!
belle, clare, christian, john, james and joy you guys rock! i wish i had more time to do more fun stuff with you guys! i love your house and most of all i love you guys! i dont how i'm gonna survive without seeing you every sunday.
O God, sigh, i need You to rescue me now! Lord change this attitude of mine from the inside out!
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