Wednesday, 28 July 2010

trying not to let myself wallow in self-pity

i just realise something.. it's so hard to get out of disappointment and hurt, but it's much easier to switch from a happy day/occasion into gloomy/sour day.. i dont want that to be true for me..

sigh, i feel like i may be trying too hard to keep my friends.. i have this fear that i lose my friends or i lose that closeness with them because of who i am.. or that i just dont have an attractive or rather good enough character or personality for them to see me as someone they would want to be close with.. i dont want keep thinking that i cant do anything about.. if it's character then i want to build it.. i'm not gonna let this get me down..

gonna keep smiling =)

1 comments:

Jonathan Chu said...

Hey, stumbled by your blog through Brian Voo's. I so feel you man in this post. Lately a lot of my friends are slowly leaving me to overseas... and you know that when they do leave, it's like they'll find new friends and they'll change... and I might cease to be a good friend anymore... It's like I'll be reduced to 'friend' status, if you get what I mean.

And on and on, I tell myself that it's okay. I can find new friends - but it just sucks that I've to start rebuilding friendships ALL over again when the ones I've put so much effort in are just slipping away. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to spend so much time in 'investing' in friendships...

And there goes my downward spiral of self pity and "I am not good enough" sessions! Argh! I need to constantly pull myself out! So yes, feel you! Gonna keep smiling! RAWR!!!