Faraway

you know, it's really funny how sometimes God can seem so far and yet though you feel that distance, He comes and touches you in a way so special you'd never thought it would happen..
sometimes it feels like He's too far to hear you.. too far to touch you...
i really wonder what would've happen if i had given up.. if i had just said : screw it! i dont care anymore!!! or what's the point of putting myself through all that pain..
but i'm glad i didnt say that.. coz what i've been through was a better teacher than anyone could ever be.. i must admit i do feel like asking God what would've happened if i had just backslided.. would He bring me back to Him?

you know even when we're down bout not feeling Him or when He's so far, He just drops lil bits of encouragement just to get us up and desperate for Him again.. i've learnt alot this year and the last.. especially since getting to know chu yueh and belle.. these two have such faith that it really stirs you up to want to know God like they do.. to depend on Him and to love Him with all your heart..

the other thing is, you know when you're worshiping and you sometimes feel touched.. you cry, tear, or just experience Him... we shouldnt be worshiping Him just for that experience.. most of the time we dont really worship HIM but rather worship the experience we recieve when we worship Him.. but it's not about feeling Him in worship, it's not about singing songs till you cry.. it's about Him.. everything is about Him.. it doesnt matter if someone's up there saying that the Holy Spirit is moving in the place and yet you dont feel it.. it doesnt matter if the person next to you is sobbing his/her heart out and yet you havent shed a tear.. it's about genuinely worshiping God and telling Him that He deserves the praises you give... i mean it's just a bonus that we feel Him when we worship..


besides arent we the ones GIVING Him the praise and not RECIEVING? arent we blessed just being able to recieve something from God when He's already given us so much?