Sleepless nights

sigh... belle just went for her med checkup... that's like one step closer to USA... haih! having sleepless night coz of that whole thing.. not good.. gotta let go sometime soon but i dont want to.. sigh i dont want our friendship to become like nicole's and mine.. drifting off till we let distance get the better of our relationship.. part of me is being selfish, not wanting her to forget me when she's there making new friends... i know it's wrong.. sigh keep telling myself, let go let go.. but i just cant. not now anyway.. sigh i love her sooo much! she's like one of the best person that God placed in my life.. we promised each other we wouldn't cry when she's leaving at the airport coz we wanna remember each other's smiling happy faces instead of tear streaked faces.. it's gonna be hard.. i honestly wished i didnt promise her that coz i dont know if i can just hold it all in and smile... i guess her leaving is like the thorns in the bed of roses that life is made out to be.. it's gonna be so painful.. but i must treasure every single moment from now on... i must..